We all do it. We're out with one bunch of people and we start to wish for a better crowd. Someone more interesting, witty or loving. Someone better. Someone else.
Let's flesh out this ghost friend you want. It will help you know yourself a little better.
Who is she?
- She knows what I want to do before I do.
- He does all the texting and planning, all I have to do is show up.
- She's very funny unless I'm telling her something sad. Then she's all ears and totally into me.
- He knows just what to say to make me feel better.
Within yourself, this is good to know. You have a hunger to be known without having to explain anything. Wouldn't that be GREAT? Of course you want that. It makes sense. You wish someone else would do all the work around getting people together. Like a surprise birthday party every Friday night! She's interesting and funny, but even better, she's interested in you. When you feel crabby, she can cheer you up. You are describing a terrific friend. Too bad she's a ghost.
Thinking through this friend persona you created puts you in touch with some needs that have gone underground. And if those needs are so pressing that you can't enjoy your life, it's time to seek help. Because communing with your ghost friend takes you away from the people who are actually standing next to you. Yup, like most things in life, it cuts both ways.